support is priceless

Here we are trying to get over our grief again. Trying to decide when we will be ready to accept another placement. It's scary to think we will have to go through the process all over again. We have only had one placement, so that is really all i can pull my knowledge from although i have been going to support group for almost two and a half years now, so i've met many people doing foster care and most are trying to adopt. The stories are surprisingly the same yet every case is different. It's the nature of foster care, you can never count on anything happening the way it did in someone else's case. There are no 'norms'. We have chosen to do foster care with the hope of adopting, that is really all it is, a hope. The children placed in our home have been taken away from their parents for whatever reason, and the goal is always for reunification. That means that we are there to help these children go back home and if that doesn't happen............ then we can adopt. It is a long process, they give parents every chance in the world and it can take up to a year (or as in our case almost a year and a half). A year of visits, therapy, court and in general a massive amount of emotional ups and downs. These children become a part of your family and touch the deepest parts of your heart. It is always devastating when they go home, whether they've been in your home a few months or over a year. I've seen the tears, heartache and sadness in many foster parents and yet i see them come back to support group month after month, willing to open their homes and hearts to more children. I love this group of friends that i have found in my support group. As so many of you probably know, it takes me a long time to warm up to people. It took time to open up and share my story with the group but just sitting there in a room with people who understand and have been through similar situations helps. It is heartwarming, comforting and makes the process of fostering not seem so lonely. I don't know exactly when we will accept children again but i do know that when that day comes, we will be ready. I draw my strength from all the foster families who continue on their journey even after having their hearts broken. I am thankful that they have the courage to keep going and are open enough to share their stories with us every month at support group. Adopting through the foster care system is not an easy thing to do, it takes patience and love, prayers and an unending supply of hope, you have to have an amazing marriage to be able to handle the added stress and it helps to have the support of family and friends. I have all this and i thank God everyday for the blessings he has sent my way. But most of all, i am thankful for the support brian and i have received from our support group, they make the journey easier.