Psalm 101:5

Have you ever been at a function and noticed people looking and talking about you, or worse yet, talking about your children. Ugh! That is one of the situations i get to deal with on a regular basis. It is annoying. It is frustrating. It makes me angry. It is one of those situations that i am not sure how to handle; what to do or what to say to the person. If you have suggestions, please let me know. I don't know what to say at that moment, should i say anything in that moment? I did not want to bring attention to the situation because my children had no idea what was going on and i didn't want them to know. I am at a loss....
Anyway, i noticed a couple looking in our direction, whispering and talking and then i noticed they weren't really looking at me but more in my kids direction. I made eye contact with the person, didn't even blink an eye, just kept on whispering. Now, i couldn't hear what was being said, so i couldn't say that they were positively, most definitely talking about my kids but i would be shocked if they were not.  I find it very disrespectful and incredibly rude. I understand that i have put a lot out there, especially with this blog but i don't do this blog to give people fuel for gossip. I do this blog to give people insight. I want people to understand the heartbreak of infertility, the struggle and incredible sacrifice it takes to foster and the obstacles we have to overcome when adopting and dealing with bio-families. I don't want you to use my honesty and openness as fuel for your cruel and ignorant gossip. If you have questions, ask me. If you have concerns, talk to me. If you want to talk about my kids, come to ME!
Having said that, i really don't think this person who was talking about my children has ever seen or read my blog. It was more of a situation where they had heard things from someone else and felt it their responsibility to fill in other strangers about my children's unfortunate beginnings. It is disgusting. My children have been exploited enough. My children have been hurt enough. My children have been knocked down enough. You do not get to continue this cycle of abuse to my children! I will not continue to associate with people who do not respect my children. They have gone through more than any child should ever have to endure in their short lives and they are thriving in spite of it! I will not let ignorant people who have no heart for their struggles bring them down.
My children are doing amazing. They are lovable, caring, beautiful and smart kids. They make me laugh, warm my heart and bring me and my husband incredible joy. My children are thriving in school, learning by leaps and bounds. They have shocked their teachers by exceeding expectations. My children love to dance, listen to music and enjoy coloring. They love playing outside in the snow; building snowmen and making snow angels. My children laugh loud, play hard and run fast! They love to give hugs and have THE best smiles. They enjoy books, know their letters and letter sounds and are starting to read. My children can sing, love to build tall castles and enjoy being pirates and princesses. They snuggle with their stuffed animals at night, need night lights and look like angels when they sleep. My children are kind, heroic and brave.  If you want to talk about them, talk about THAT!!

Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence;
whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate.

Kaden

It was kaden's birthday last week. He is 6 years old. Yes! SIX! He is getting so big and he is so incredibly smart. It is incredible to see how much he has grown in a year. We celebrated at home, with our family. We try to make the day special but we are not planning big parties every year.
He chose cupcakes instead of cake, he says it takes too long to cut the cake! lol, that kid cracks me up. He sure does love his food. Brian made him breakfast waffles, this has become a tradition in our house. Kaden got to choose his meal and he decided he wanted pizza. It was a nice birthday, stretched over 2 days. He loved every second of it, all the attention and celebration focused on him. 
We had conferences for all the kids last week and i was just so incredibly pleased to hear how well kaden is doing and how far he has come. At the beginning of the year, the teacher wasn't sure he would catch up in time to move on to the first grade but it looks like he is right on track now. I have to tell you that brian and i work with kaden and we spend time on homework and we practice letter sounds and reading and all that stuff but kaden has done a lot of this through plain ol' determination. He has a never quit attitude and he will try and try and try. I am just so proud of him. He surprises me every week we sit down to do his homework, he has learned something new every single time. I just can't say enough how proud i am of that kid!
He had a project due last week and he did such an amazing job. He had to explain his shelter by answering questions about what his shelter was used for, made out of, who would live in it; etc. He had to build a shelter that depicted what he had explained. This was a student driven project with minimal help from the parents. He did it, and he did it all by himself. I was so proud of him and i could see his pride in his work. They had a shelter 'museum' and we were able to go to his classroom where they displayed their shelters and we could ask questions and the kids explained their projects. (you could tell who had 'minimal' parent help and who didn't!)
What a big week for kaden! Happy Birthday big guy :)

post adoption

Okay, so it's been awhile. I just haven't been motivated to write anything. NOT that we haven't had a lot going on. We adopted the boys in december! Yeah! It seemed like it would never happen and then all of a sudden...they are ours! We had the holidays and the adoption and winter break and school starting for the kids again and school starting for brian and i just couldn't get motivated to write.
I don't even know where to begin....
The adoption went wonderfully. I am so thankful for the friends and family who were able to join us. I am truly thankful that everyone made the day so special for not only the boys but also for including isabelle in the celebration as well. She talks about the adoption like it happened to all of them and i can only pray and hope that it will happen for her one day too.
The boys have had different reactions but overall i think they are feeling much more secure and understand on some level how we are a forever family now.
Kaden (yes, i can use their names now!!!) is enjoying the fact that no matter how pouty and cross he gets, WE are not going to leave him! He is testing us daily and to his delight we are in this for the long haul. I find he is much less eager to please and is letting his opinion known. I must admit that i love this new found rebellion and it just assures me he is feeling the love! I was worried about his need to make everyone happy, his need to not 'rock the boat' and his lack of personal opinions. He has certainly revealed more of himself to us lately and i am looking forward to learning more about what he REALLY thinks and likes. He is a determined, loving and strong little guy and i love him and the way he strives to be his best!
Mason is reflective and missing those he has seen as a loss in his life. He talks often about his birth family and expresses sadness that he cannot see them. I have to say that kaden has also had these reactions lately but mason seems to be dwelling in this place of loss more so than the other two. He is quick to cry. He is possessive with his things. His feelings get hurt much easier than before. I am not sure what to do with this. I acknowledge his feelings. I assure him he is safe. I assure him he is not leaving our home. I reassure him that he is loved. We are going to continue with therapy and i hope he will be able to express his feelings much easier in the near future. His speech has progressed dramatically in the last month and I love hearing him talk and attempt to use so many more words. He is a sensitive boy, who seems to have had the longest period of neglect. I love his ability to persevere and his smile when he learns a new word makes my heart burst with joy for him!
Noah is LOVING this new feeling of security and stability. He has become possessive of me and wants everyone to know 'my mommy'. He runs up and hugs me several times an hour and just reassures himself and announces to me 'my mommy'. I love it. He wants to sit on my lap and he wants to be held and loved on. This is new, and i enjoy it. Last week he started asking 'why?' I was shocked (and happy) to see him throw his hands in the air and exclaim WHY?  all i could do was laugh. Sometimes i forget how delayed he is because he is getting so big (passing up mason in size) and he has come so incredibly far. It just made me so happy to know that he feels secure enough to question me and has the confidence in himself to know that he deserve an explanation. I love this lil' guy and he is definitely the baby! He pulls at my heartstrings.
Isabelle thinks she is the boss of everyone and we are definitely working on this with her. She has a strong personality and she has no doubt that we love her no matter what she does! She is jealous of the boys and i know she understands that she does not have the same security that the boys have now that they are adopted. It breaks my heart. I love her, not more than the boys, but i have loved her longer and i just wish with all my being that i could offer her the same stability and security that she feels her brothers getting. She is a caregiver at heart and takes care of everyone. She loves her brothers and really babies Noah (he doesn't appreciate it as much as she thinks he should).  She fights and hits and bites and bosses her brothers around but don't let her catch someone else doing those things to them!  She will knock you out!! She reminds me of myself in so many ways. She thrives on schedules and consistency but fights it all the way. I tell you, i love this girl but boy does she drive me crazy!!
So that's a real condensed version of life at my house after adoption.(very condensed version!) I hope i can blog a little more consistently. I must say i have missed it. Until next time...