post adoption

Okay, so it's been awhile. I just haven't been motivated to write anything. NOT that we haven't had a lot going on. We adopted the boys in december! Yeah! It seemed like it would never happen and then all of a sudden...they are ours! We had the holidays and the adoption and winter break and school starting for the kids again and school starting for brian and i just couldn't get motivated to write.
I don't even know where to begin....
The adoption went wonderfully. I am so thankful for the friends and family who were able to join us. I am truly thankful that everyone made the day so special for not only the boys but also for including isabelle in the celebration as well. She talks about the adoption like it happened to all of them and i can only pray and hope that it will happen for her one day too.
The boys have had different reactions but overall i think they are feeling much more secure and understand on some level how we are a forever family now.
Kaden (yes, i can use their names now!!!) is enjoying the fact that no matter how pouty and cross he gets, WE are not going to leave him! He is testing us daily and to his delight we are in this for the long haul. I find he is much less eager to please and is letting his opinion known. I must admit that i love this new found rebellion and it just assures me he is feeling the love! I was worried about his need to make everyone happy, his need to not 'rock the boat' and his lack of personal opinions. He has certainly revealed more of himself to us lately and i am looking forward to learning more about what he REALLY thinks and likes. He is a determined, loving and strong little guy and i love him and the way he strives to be his best!
Mason is reflective and missing those he has seen as a loss in his life. He talks often about his birth family and expresses sadness that he cannot see them. I have to say that kaden has also had these reactions lately but mason seems to be dwelling in this place of loss more so than the other two. He is quick to cry. He is possessive with his things. His feelings get hurt much easier than before. I am not sure what to do with this. I acknowledge his feelings. I assure him he is safe. I assure him he is not leaving our home. I reassure him that he is loved. We are going to continue with therapy and i hope he will be able to express his feelings much easier in the near future. His speech has progressed dramatically in the last month and I love hearing him talk and attempt to use so many more words. He is a sensitive boy, who seems to have had the longest period of neglect. I love his ability to persevere and his smile when he learns a new word makes my heart burst with joy for him!
Noah is LOVING this new feeling of security and stability. He has become possessive of me and wants everyone to know 'my mommy'. He runs up and hugs me several times an hour and just reassures himself and announces to me 'my mommy'. I love it. He wants to sit on my lap and he wants to be held and loved on. This is new, and i enjoy it. Last week he started asking 'why?' I was shocked (and happy) to see him throw his hands in the air and exclaim WHY?  all i could do was laugh. Sometimes i forget how delayed he is because he is getting so big (passing up mason in size) and he has come so incredibly far. It just made me so happy to know that he feels secure enough to question me and has the confidence in himself to know that he deserve an explanation. I love this lil' guy and he is definitely the baby! He pulls at my heartstrings.
Isabelle thinks she is the boss of everyone and we are definitely working on this with her. She has a strong personality and she has no doubt that we love her no matter what she does! She is jealous of the boys and i know she understands that she does not have the same security that the boys have now that they are adopted. It breaks my heart. I love her, not more than the boys, but i have loved her longer and i just wish with all my being that i could offer her the same stability and security that she feels her brothers getting. She is a caregiver at heart and takes care of everyone. She loves her brothers and really babies Noah (he doesn't appreciate it as much as she thinks he should).  She fights and hits and bites and bosses her brothers around but don't let her catch someone else doing those things to them!  She will knock you out!! She reminds me of myself in so many ways. She thrives on schedules and consistency but fights it all the way. I tell you, i love this girl but boy does she drive me crazy!!
So that's a real condensed version of life at my house after adoption.(very condensed version!) I hope i can blog a little more consistently. I must say i have missed it. Until next time...