lawyers, lawyers, lawyers

I am really sick of trying to stay positive. The foster parents decided to get a lawyer and now we may not need to go to grand junction for court next week. I am so tired of this, i thought we would have a decision. I am tired, mentally tired. They are doing attachment observations right now. We did these with our lil' love bug but they did nothing to help us. I hope they will not help the foster parents. I honestly don't feel like these foster parents would provide a good home for the boys.
I was looking forward to a decision and then we could stop making these visits to grand junction. The boys would be here with us, or they'd end up with those awful people and then we would have to just move on. Don't get me wrong, i enjoy the visits with the boys. They are wonderful boys, they make us laugh and we have a good time. But we spend hours getting there and we have no normal kind of weekend. The trips suck. Brian's back is killing him, being in the car for 12 hours a weekend is no fun, eating fast food and spending money we don't have; all of this for a four hour visit. It is not a relaxing weekend. Now, we are going to be doing this for another month or so.(nobody has actually given us a timeline about how much longer this is going to drag on)
This is something that needs to be resolved soon. We don't have a car to drive to the other side of the mountains if the weather starts getting bad. I also have no desire to drive over those mountains in snow! I get nervous driving in town with snow. Financially it is taking it's toll on us. I thank God we have my mom helping us, there is no way we could afford all these trips if it wasn't for her. She has been wonderful in helping us with money and letting us use her gas-efficient car. She has her own things going on right now and i am so thankful that she has seen beyond her own needs and been so generous to help brian and me.
I am feeling so negative but i just don't want to get my hopes up and be knocked back down again. A person can only get knocked down so many times before they don't get back up again. It's hard to keep your hopes up and stay positive. It's a lot of work, it takes a lot of energy and right now i just don't have it in me.
Maybe the next post!