tell the truth

It has taken me awhile to post because i just don't know how to put into words all these feelings i have for the boy's birth parents. It is much more difficult to deal with the birth parents when it is a kinship situation and not a foster care situation. I have known brian's brother for about 10 years now and i have had some interaction with the boy's birth mom. It is a crazy dynamic when you are taking care of a family member's child and not just some stranger's child. As a family member i find i expect so much more from the birth parents because of the relationship we have and i can only imagine how much brian must expect from his brother. I will say that i don't think honesty is an unreasonable expectation but it is something that i never expected (or still expect) from our love bug's mom. It is something i expect from the boy's bio parents. Now that i have been lied to, i cannot take anything they say for the truth and it makes me angry because i cannot believe anything they have told me in the past either. We would sit there in their living room and listen to them cry and pour their heart out and i cried with them and now i don't know what to believe or how much of it was an act. I feel like such a fool for believing their sob stories.
I feel like there should be some respect shown to me and brian for stepping in and giving these boys a home; a safe, loving and stable home where they will still be able to have some sort of contact with their bio parents. The bio parents would not have had the opportunity to have any contact with the boys if they had stayed with the other foster family. We have listened to the bio parents requests for information, we have let them know what the boys are doing and we have allowed weekly phone calls. We talk to them every week and brian sometimes talks to his brother more than that and then we find out he is being deceptive and lying by omission. It is disgusting and it will not happen again. Not to me. I will not allow these boys to be hurt by their bio parents, they have done enough and i will keep the contact safe and regulated. These bio parents are so incredibly selfish and immature, i will protect my boys any way i can.
I can't imagine how hard this is for brian. He loves his brother. They grew up together, they have a history together but now here he is taking care of his older brother's kids and how do you do that and still keep that family relationship with your brother? I suppose it is difficult to find your place in the family now, the whole family dynamic has changed. How do you do family functions? It is something he is going to have to find out for himself and i hope i will be able to help him. We are going to start going to the kinship support group because taking care of a family member's children is sooooo different from doing foster care. There are many questions we have, many situations that are different. We need some guidance and wisdom from those who are experiencing the same type of situation.