finding the time

It has been so hard for me to take the time and post here on the blog. I am overwhelmed right now. We are getting to the point where all the therapies are happening and we are just recovering and restarting everything after the winter break and holidays. I understand moms do this everywhere and all the time but i'm relatively new to this and i'm just trying to acclimate and figure out what form of organization will work best for me and brian. I will get there, it will just take some time. So.....
We met with the adoption coordinator a couple of weeks ago. Everything looks good and we are on the road to adoption! The boys have to be in our home for 6 months before we can file adoption papers - that would make the end of march the earliest time we could file. We'll see how long it takes once we decide to file. It is exciting but it is really hard to feel like it is really happening. It doesn't feel real. i guess i'm just trying to protect myself in case it doesn't happen, i don't know when it will feel real. We'll see......
Now, we are trying to decide on names. The boys have the same last name as us, so there won't be any change there. It seems like we are missing out on a big step, giving a child our last name. A person's last name is so important and it just makes you a part of a family, which the boys are, they are our nephews. I just would have liked to have had the opportunity to give the boys our last name when they became our children, officially. We never had any intention of changing their first names but now we are considering it. I would like to give the boys a new first name and change their current first name to their middle name. I just don't feel like the middle name is enough for me to feel like i have given them something from us. I would like to give them that.