Gee had his birthday this last weekend, 5 years old. Birthdays are such a big deal. He had his party on saturday, his actual birthday on sunday, received gifts from his uncle on wednesday and celebrated at school on thursday. Whew! How wonderful to be young and get to celebrate your birthday for days! I am so happy he had such a great birthday and we were able to help him celebrate such a big milestone! Now that i have said that, i am angry at his bio-parents. The bio-parents that every other week call and talk to the boys and in talking to them, remind them of the horrible way they had to spend the first few years of their young lives. The bio-parents, who want photos and information about the boys. They want us to send them pictures of the boys, they want details about their lives and their state of mind, how they are doing, what they are doing. They want us to share all this information with them, they want to continue phone calls with the boys, they'd love to see the boys yet they can't seem to send the boys ONE gift, ONE card, just ONE little thing from them to their child. The boys did not receive one present for christmas, gee did not receive a gift from either bio-parent for his birthday. What the hell? I don't expect them to go out and buy a big gift, i don't expect them to spend money. Send a card, send a picture, make a card, something, anything! I can't imagine not acknowledging our lovebug on her birthday, EVER, for the rest of my life i will send her something on her birthday, for christmas and any other day i feel is a special day.
I can't believe how selfish these bio-parents are, it is not about the boys, it is about what they want, what they need. The bio-mom actually had the nerve to e-mail asking for pictures of gee's birthday party, saying 'since i can't be there for my gee's birthday, could you send me pictures'. Seriously? Of course you can't be here for gee's birthday. You are not allowed to see gee. I can't believe she has the nerve to act like a victim in this. I did not take her children away from her. I am following court orders and the advice of therapists and professionals in child welfare. I am not here to make this easy for the bio-parents. I am here to make life easy, fun, happy, safe and secure for the boys.
I am frustrated and i am sad for the boys. I guess that is what this is all about. Adopting kids through foster care. Taking care of kids whose parents were not able to do it. Parents who never learned parenting skills and parents who, for whatever reason, cannot learn to care for their kids, no matter how many people try to help, teach and offer support. It is frustrating dealing with these bio-parents and my hope is that the frustration will be replaced with an amiable relationship in the future.
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Happy Birthday Gee- I am glad you were able to make it special.
ReplyDeleteI remember when we got Evie- she was in middle school and no one had ever brought her cupcakes to class- so I had a full out Birthday party in Middle School for her- unheard of at that age- but it meant so much to her.
Keep loving them- that is all you can do- the parents are screwed up and always will be.